Graffiti on the Walls....or the Door

When Hope isn't feeling well, her behavior is...well...more challenging than normal. I have a headache to begin with. My tag team partner, her big brother, is down with the stomach bug...so he's no help. Hope grabs the pen and runs off. I ask nicely for her to bring it back, I count to 2, 5 is way too long for this kid. I hear her writing on something. I ask her to stop and show me what she wrote on, she said those famous 3 words "I don't know". You don't know? Show me....the side of the door. Nice. Fortunately for me, because I lease my lovely home, Mr. Magic Eraser takes it off. Did you know sharpie comes off of carpet as well? It does. Future artist or will she be arrested for graffiti? You decide.

Open Adoption

As I was walking out the door today, for an appointment and Starbucks (hey, it's been a while due to budget cuts, I have been waiting for this!), Hope brought me a laminated card. It was the card that Jill had quietly given to me on the day of Hope's placement with us. It has her contact information and has been on our fridge ever since. Hope has been learning to read and recently asked me what it was. I explained to her that when she was given to me, her birthmother (Jill) had wanted to make sure that I could always find her, should I ever need to talk to her, so she gave me her home, work and cell phone numbers, her email and her home address.  (She wasn't supposed to do that, all communication was supposed to be through the adoption agency.  I was grateful for this.) She asked me if she and Bubby (her brother) could text Jill while I was out today.  I said sure and smiled as I walked out the door. At 6, this independent relationship is beginning.  I am confident that as the years go by, Jill will learn of important milestones before I do. The first crush. The first kiss. The firsts of many things that moms aren't usually privvy to. I'm so thankful that Jill is in her life. I'm so blessed to just sit back and watch this unfold. #openadoptionblessings

Fifty Two Shades of Blue-ish Book Review

Fifty Shades of Grey.......by now you have all heard of it, many of you have read it, or you have strong reasons to not read it. I have read all three.  While the writing seemed rather primitive, it was a quick and easy series and got the blood flowing, if you know what I mean.

FiftyTwo Shades of Blue-ish

Karen S. Exkorn has released Fifty Two Shades of Blue-ish, a parody of Fifty Shades.  This book is full of humor and erotica.  What a mix! 

"The story follows the virginal Rachel Levine and her handsome hunk of man as they surrender to their sexual cravings, with a hunger for more than just matzah balls."

I can't wait to read it!

When Karen (the author) turned 52, she determined she was of the age to finally do all of the things that she was afraid or embarrassed to do in public. What is something you always wanted to do, but was too afraid to try?  What is on your "bucket list"?  I may lose some of my more conservative readers with this one, but I'm going to post it anyway :)  Who knows, I may gain some readers and may encourage others.  Some of you may know, and if you don't, you will now!  I'm a very plus sized person.  For most of my life, even as a child, I tried to lose the weight.  Diet after diet, fat camp, weight watchers, aerobics, walk away the pounds, fad diets, personal trainers, etc.  Nothing really worked.  In fact, over time, I got bigger.  One of the things I kept telling myself was "when I lose the weight and get to a "size whatever I felt I should be that I'm not now" I'd love to have boudoir photos taken, just for myself,  to prove I can be sexy.  Well, something clicked when I turned 40.  Why wait until I'm "size whatever"?  I may realistically never ever get there!!!!  I purchased some racy lingerie at my favorite plus sized store and when I was completely alone, I grabbed my camera and tripod and I took some photos.  And I liked them.  No, I take that back.  I loved them.  I shared them with some friends of mine on a private facebook group.  They loved them.  I was then asked to do some internet modeling.  *laughs*  Ok, so that wasn't my original intent.  However, I checked that off my "do before the zombie apocalypse" list that I'm working on.  I am thrilled to have my photos.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them, but what a self esteem booster they are. Here are a couple of the "safe for blogs and work" examples.

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Oh, here's an excerpt of the book, if you'd like to read it.  


You can buy it on Amazon.com by clicking this link: http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Blue-ish-Karen-Exkorn/dp/0988401509/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1351518122&sr=8-1&keywords=fifty+two+shades+of+blueish

This post was sponsored by the Role Mommy Writer's Network (http://www.rolemommy.com/the-role-mommy-writers-network.php). 

Hurricane....

Ahhhh.  I'm sitting here watching the rain come down in sheets.  The wind is blowing through my trees with such force they are nearly horizontal.  Hurricane Sandy is almost upon us.  Rumor has it, the very eye of the storm will be over me.  Nice thought, isn't it?  I'm slightly concerned. We did enough non-perishable grocery shopping that I'm ready for a zombie apocalypse.  I also packed a running-away bag for the children and myself in case we have to leave in a hurry.  I tried to keep this all an adventure for them, but I am thinking they are beginning to get anxious.   

Blowing the Dust Off with an Update

Oh it's been a long time...and I've missed blogging. I have no following any more. I have no bloggy friends. I have no blogger family. I miss it! I need to get back into it. I know my style has changed, my thoughts have changed.....*I* have changed. So it's time to dust off the blog and begin again. Perhaps give it a make over or a facelift, or create something new, all together. For now, I must give a Hope update. 

For those who don't know, Hope was adopted 6+ years ago. Hope was born prematurely to the most amazing birth mother on earth. I know, birth mothers are amazing. But this birth mother is incredible. Honest. She is. When Hope was born prematurely, due to preeclampsia, she had no heart beat or respiration. She had an apgar of zero. The doctors told her birth mother and the adoption agency that her future was really unpredictable. She could be wheelchair bound, vent dependent, with a feeding tube. She could have severe cerebral palsy. She could have very significant disabilities. So the adoption agency was straight up honest with families who wanted a healthy Caucasian female newborn. These families, one by one, turned down Hope. Oh yes, they did. I feel they had every right to do that! If I wanted a perfectly healthy, full term Caucasian female that I was adopting, privately, from an adoption agency, I'd want that child to be full term and healthy! Not born at 29 weeks and potentially wheelchair bound for life! Ah. But that's where we came in. See, *I* didn't care about that. *I* wasn't even looking for a baby. Um, no? I wasn't really looking for a child. Originally we thought we wanted a little boy between the ages of birth and 9, so Jonathan could have a little brother...but that didn't happen, so we were taking a break from all the adoption nonsense. I was emotionally tired and just done with it all and my caseworker at the agency knew that. Our clearances expired. We developed a routine with our two daughters and our son....ho hum. Then I got a phone call.....Maggie.....we have a baby.....and I don't think I really heard anything else that day....it was all like Charlie Brown's teacher.... waonk wah waonk waonk blah blah do you want her? I had Harriet repeat it. What did you just say? Sure, we'll take her! Then she said, but Maggie, she isn't perfect. Harriet, we'll take her! Maggie, she may be wheel chair dependent? So? You may want to ask Bill......oh....yeah. Ok, I'll call you back. :) So I call Bill. He said ok! We'll take her! (that was easy!) I call her back, we discuss that this is a domestic adoption that actually costs money (we didn't have, but it worked out) and so on and so forth. 

OK, Long story short. The child does not need a damn wheel chair. The child never needed a damn wheel chair. In fact, the urologist today said are you serious this child has a diagnosis of CP? Really? Honestly. Um, yeah, she does. :) This child spent 1 month in the NICU. Fought for her LIFE. This child grew and grew and grew. This child endured months and months of physical therapy and occupational therapy so she could run and play without hesitation. She wrote on the walls and instead of chastising her, I smiled, she was using her hands!!!! :) :) :) She's not perfect. She has a silly left leg and a arm and hand that don't always listen. She has a left eye that sometimes wants to do it's own thing. She has fully adapted around these things and super strengthened her right side. She plays soccer. She runs. She dances. She sings. She writes. She cuts Barbie's hair, she draws on walls. She can do so many things that those doctors said she *may* never do. They had NO idea that Hope just didn't pay any attention to that early prognosis. Today, we went to the urologist. Hope, at 6, still isn't potty trained. Hope is our youngest child of 4. I will admit, this started affecting ME. I started questioning my parenting. Am I doing something wrong, by not having her trained by now? After just 15 minutes of meeting with the staff today, I was put at ease and reminded that 1. Hope has some issues that my other children did NOT have. 2. Hope is going to need extra time to catch up and 3. IT IS OK. I'm NOT a bad mom. It's NOT my parenting. Hope is doing fabulous. It WILL happen. :) It will. It may not happen today or even tomorrow, but it will happen. She said, that it could very well be directly correlated to Hope's problems with constipation! Who knew this?! I had NO idea. She said that it could prevent Hope from feeling her bladder and knowing when to go to the bathroom! Bless her! I had no idea. Ahhhhhhh......I felt such a relief after 15 minutes with this woman. So I'm back to blogging. Hope is doing great. I'm thankful that I was chosen to be her Mom. She's such a blessing to me.